well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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