It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
That was an excessively violent trivia night
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
