that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
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