Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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