It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
