are you still at the devil's house?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
True strength comes from lack of pants
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize
