strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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