so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
