OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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