I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
