I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
