Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
