Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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