you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize