So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
