Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
