i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize