I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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