return my video game
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize