You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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