sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
