I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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