I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
