At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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