He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
we're making bets on your personal life
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
