WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
