They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
