therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
We are all done wearing pants today
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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