you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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