Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Who died my cat blue again?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
