just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Randomize
