You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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