Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
