i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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