i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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