Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Found the puke drawer
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
