We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
i need some magic done to my vagina
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
