We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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