Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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