DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
soo... how was my night?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
