this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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