I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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