so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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