I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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