I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
