Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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