Me. At least after what I've been through.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
