Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
