We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
