so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
