What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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