Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
