I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
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I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
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good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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