That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
worst night to have a conscience
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
