HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
