u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
