Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
only if we run a train.
done.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
it's great music for shaving your balls
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
