She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Randomize
