OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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